The Vizsla Newzsletter (April / May 99)
Reverse psychology for dogs??

By Natalie Sharp Pitt Meadows, BC

Now, I've heard of using reverse psychology with children. I can even vouch that it works for husbands (sometimes, if you plan it carefully :-)). But has anybody ever used it with dogs???


Image: Yvonne shows Ziggy & Tosca the agility tunnel.

Like most Viszla's, Jassz has his own set of idiosynchrasies. Some of them pleasant and charming, some of them less so. I consider his kissing fetish in the later group. Don't get me wrong, I like affection as much as the next person. But it's hard to forget that just before this 'tender moment', he'd just been licking the last remains of his bodily functions off his personal parts. And it's not like he'll settle for a peck on the cheek or chin. It's has to be right full on the mouth. How charming.

We have, of course, taught him the No Kisses command. When I say 'taught', I mean that he knows what we want. He just can't believe we really mean it. Our second line of defense is to blow in his face. This will work, but only if you are diligent about it. And quick. It may take several minutes, and frankly, the anoxia to the brain that results is a little troubling. At times I think it's starting to effect my .... Where was I? Oh yes. This kissing thing.

It's easy to tell when you are about to be slimed. Jassz begins to look... well, obsessed. Or POsessed, I'm not sure which. The rest of the world ceases to exist for him. His eyes go a bit crossed, as he hones in on your lips. He's like a lip-seeking missile, and once he's locked on target you have a battle on your hands.

First I start dodging left and right. I give the command. Usually no effect. I start blowing in his face. He backs off slightly, then moves in again. I continue blowing and executing my diversionary tactics. On and on we dance this dance, until either he's won (and I've fainted from the anoxia), or I have. If I win, he just gets this smug, 'Wait till next time, heh, heh, heh' look on his face. On the upside, I'm sure all this puffing and blowing has been good practice for when I go in to labour (which is any day now, I think).

So, the other day my husband Laszlo is about to be slimed. I guess he was tired, and in no mood to do battle. He says to Jassz (who is seated comfortably in his lap), "Fine. Kiss me Jassz. Just do and get it over with."

Jassz paused for a second, then looked away. He had this coy, "Oh, I COULDN'T. I hardly know you." expression.


Image: Spud posing for the camera!

Huh. What a fluke. Or so we thought.

A little while later, it happened again. And again. And again. EVERY time Laszlo told Jassz to kiss him, he turned away. Wouldn't do it, even if Laszlo begged him to.

I was getting pretty excited about this latest revelation. I'd have to write a book about it of course. The hottest new dog training technique to come along since clicker training. Reverse psychology. I imagined telling Jassz, "Bark your fool head off", or "Sniff that person's crotch". The possibilities were endless. It would blow dog training right out of the water.

I couldn't wait to try it myself. I called Jassz in to my lap. What lap I have left, that is. As soon as I saw the crazed look in his eye, I said, "Go ahead, kiss me Jassz." I was so excited, I even made the mistake of having a smile on my face. So when he slimed me from chin to eyebrows, I even got my teeth washed.

What the heck? I looked at Laszlo. He shrugged, and suggested I try it again. I still got washed from stem to stern. So Laszlo tried it again. Worked for him. I tried it. No luck.

To date, it has worked for Laszlo 100%. For me? 0%. So much for the book. So much for the world tour.

Hmph. Men and dogs. Who can figure them out?

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