The Vizsla Newzsletter (Dec 98 / Jan 99)
New Year Resolutions!
Image: Luka (Hubertus Quest for Star) sports a summer flower!
New Year Resolutions!
From the Internet
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
- The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
- I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
- I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
- I will not eat other animals' poop.
- I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
- I will not roll my head around in other animals' poop.
- "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
- I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
- I will not wake Mummy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
- I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging.
- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
- I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
- We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
- I will not steal my Mum's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
- The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mum & Dad's laps.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mum's driver's license.
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